I am not sure why I think so much about commercials. Maybe it's because I used to work in advertising and I really enjoy the field. Maybe it's because I DVR every show I like and find myself actually watching the commercials. Perhaps, it's just because I have always enjoyed them. I mean, I do remember the theme songs from commercials going as far back as 1985. There's the 1987 Oldsmobile commercial where, "Should old acquaintance be forgot," was replaced with the devilishly catchy:
"That car you got should be forgot before the year is THROUUUUGHHHH. All '87 Oldsmobiles are now on sale. For. Youuuuu."
Let us not forget the Kudos commercial! "You'll love the first bite, outrageously right, new Kudos granola snack! Freeze it, tease it," (Wait, WHAT?!) "...Kudos, I'm yours, I'M YOURS! Nutty fudge, chocolate chip or peanut butter, Kudos you've won me over any other. Electrifying, Granola-fying! Kudos, I'm yours. I'M YOURS!"
So that brings me to the first commercial I have been thinking about. You would think I would love it since I apparently enjoy songs in my commercials. BUT I HATE IT. Amanda and I started talking about it last week, which was odd, because at the moment she randomly brought it up, I was online reading other people's blogs about it because I had been compelled, upon seeing the commercial for the 2,200th time, I googled, "annoying io digital cable commercial."
Well I am not alone. Have you seen this? The music is awful. The lead singer guy is a fat Hispanic man, or at least he is pretending to be Hispanic, rapping or whatever you call it over some generic reggaeton beat. I am not sure if it's even reggaeton, just every one else says it qualifies. He's so gross, that they can't even show him on the beach unless he is covered by sand. He's so inventive though! "I-O digital cable, watch a lot of TV whenever you're able!" SO CLEVER.
You might also wonder what the hell the red lobster dragon person doing some weird rap and urging you to call with his two human hands.
But hey, if the Loch Ness Monster doesn't sell your cable product, why not try sex? It's the no-fail remedy for any slow sales. And for that, you get the mermaid/bikini/wet suit chicks with the crazy mermaid tails swinging all over, or some inappropriate-for-any-TV-air-time-except-late-night hip thrusting dance move that makes me cringe. Except, their big part in the song DOES make me remember the stupid phone number. Which makes me mad at myself. These ladies are taking the rest of us back to 1919. You know, when we couldn't vote. What does it take to get smart women on TV? The sad news is, there's a lot of women in advertising. So who approves this crap?
I get so irritated every time I see it come on TV. I think, "IS THIS FOR REAL?" The commercial's only saving grace is that there are pirates, and I think they're trying to take down the rapping guys.
So, what other commercials drive me nuts? There's been the now defunct Quiznos commercials with the talking baby that sounded like a chain smoking lumberjack. That was BEYOND creepy.
All of the commercials urging you to text message for any reason are annoying. I don't want a ring tone, thanks. No I don't want to meet gay-Latin-black-hot-sexy singles in my area. Getting on those phone lines with complete strangers sounds like a good way to get stalked, kidnapped and murdered. Kind of like meeting people at their house when you only know them from the internet!
And if you're not in NY, you're not like to see the Gallagher's 2000 commercials. Let's call it like it is. This is not a "Gentleman's Club." Let's just call it a strip club. Anyway, the commercials are gross and annoying. It's bad enough you have to see the billboards on the BQE. Now I can't even watch TV at night without seeing these mail order brides with their twisted faces or the dumb alien commercials.
Another late night one is "Interactive Male." These guys who are supposed to be gay just jump around and appear to talk on the phone with each other. It's just weird, and reinforces negative stereotypes!
I can't handle this one, but I am still going to post it for you:
More to come. I have about twenty commercials swirling in my head, but right now I am hungry.
2 comments:
those MFing IO guys make me embarrassed to be Hispanic. Why couldn't any stray bullets find them while they were in el barrio?
I seriously love that you've commented on each and every one of my least favorite commercials, complete with video in case I want to be voluntarily annoyed. Well done!
Post a Comment